Jealousy.. why does people get jealous.. out of insecurity of oneself or the others... i believe for my case is myself... insecurity... i am always insecure.. insecure of my life my love my looks my frens and everything.. y am I so insecure? cos I am afraid of losing.. losing wat i dun know... cos we never own anything when we were born so wats there to be afraid of losing... cos we never own anything.. this is wat i always tell myself... I dun own anything.. and nothing owns me... (other then my parents who owns me cos they give me life)...
I have always thought I have understand and know how to see things lightly... to have an open mind.. cos i own nothing... but now jealousy is back to haunt me.. i ask myself.. i never own anything.. (or maybe I own too much and I am losing it one by one??) y am I feeling insecure now? Insecure cos I wan to own something? something that I long for? Afraid of losing it?
I must control myself... keep an open mind... watever will be will be... if I have a problem I have to deal with it... if its mine it will be.. if its not it will not be no matter how hard I try... (I used to be very good in this...) but the sour feeling keep creeping in to my heart.. it hurts... and I dun like the feel of it... (fuck off! go away!!)
So I must keep reminding myself... I own nothing... nothing belongs to me... nothing at all... (contradicting... haizzz...)
